My flexibility is appalling. I stretch to put my shoes on and that’s about it. And also I have one leg that is feeling shorter than the other. Yes, this is very odd and needs to be rectified. People tell me Yoga is great for this sort of shit. It’s also all about the breathing and serenity. Years of smoking have left my lungs grey and decrepit; lets get some pink into them again. And god knows I could chillax more.
Over the years I’ve spent a small fortune/house deposit on chiropractors (never again!) and osteopaths (my new favourites). Every health professional I’ve ever seen says I have the core strength of a 7year old girl. It’s because I don’t like to support my own body weight. That’s what chairs, lounges, walls and any solid object are for. So that I don’t end up like the hunchback of Notre Dame I’m gonna get me some core strength.
So I’ve printed off the necessary Fitness First timetables – I’ve been donating to this charity for many years, about time I got something in return – and I’ve circled all the Yoga, Pilates and Body Balance (whatever the hell that is) classes. I’m gonna get all over it. I’ve checked with workmates what I should wear and I’m all set to go. I just hope the teachers are attractive and patient.
It should be noted that I do not have a very good track record of maintaining an exercise program. My pattern is I usually go 5 times in one week, then have 3 months off. I usually try to do a lot of Pump classes or those big bad cardio machines which I’m quite obviously not ready for. Never weights – I hate weights. Surely with yoga and pilates I can ease my body into this gently, isn’t that the whole point? And now that I am on the record I just know I’ll have your support.
Before you know it I am going to look like Christie Turlington, just you wait and see.
|Only a matter of time...|
P.S. When I did an image search for "Men doing Yoga" nearly everyone turned up naked! I think I'm going to like this more than I thought.