I have two boyfriends!

My boyfriend has been in Melbourne for the weekend visiting all his peeps so I’ve spent most of the weekend with my other boyfriend Dick Wolf. I love Dick! And if you don’t know who Dick is than we can never be friends. He is a creative genius, the true master of crime television and the creator and producer of 3 of my all-time favourite shows – Law & Order, Law & Order SVU and Law & Order Criminal Intent.

My other boyfriend Dick Wolf

My devotion to Dick and his programs is starting to become disturbing and making me socially awkward. I IQ episodes of SVU and CI on the downstairs tv and the original and the best L&O on the upstairs. My addiction is currently averaging 2 episodes per day, and has been for a very long time, but on weekends like this I’m nudging 15. Some of the SVU eps I reckon I’ve seen at least 8 times.  Friday and Saturday nights are my favourites when if I time it right I can cram in 5-6 hits.

The lead detectives aren’t characters to me they are my friends. And yes, sometimes I’ve chosen to spend time with them rather than the 3D type. Detectives Benson and Stabler are always there for me, they are my rock. I can count on them in any crisis. They are so smart and loyal and while they may have anger issues they’ve never been rough with me. ADA Cabot is a superstar, Det Briscoe and Green are my buddies, Dr Wong and ME’s Warner and Rodgers can always be relied on. But my all-time favourite is Lt. Van Buren. She leads with a style and cunning that is inspiring. Even when shafted on her promotion she was dignified. Oh how I love them all.

One of the all time great actresses/characters - S Epatha Merkerson plays Lt. Van Buren

My addiction to L&O is about 10 years old. I felt I knew all about New York without ever having been there. When I did finally get there a few years ago it was so disappointing not to see crime rampant on the streets with the Police and DA’s office crawling all over perps. I did nearly pass out with excitement when I thought I saw SVU shooting on the street, Ash had to hold me up, but it was only The Fringe which hardly counts as television. My dream job in the world would be doing publicity for Dick and the gang. Can you imagine? It wouldn’t be work, it would be heaven.

Stabler!

Benson &...

I was devastated to hear L&O had been cancelled in the US, just when it was getting even better. I cried for days and wanted to hold a memorial service. But please don’t fret – there is a new series in the franchise hitting Aussie screens real soon. Law & Order Los Angeles! And it has hot boys in it. My dear friends at Ten are yet to send me copies so I don’t know who my new best friends will be but I’m sure they are going to be gritty, honest and oh so smart.

I’m not really sure why these shows have me hooked so bad, why I need such a regular fix? They just do. Maybe it’s the voice-over to start, the world-famous ‘Dah Dah’ throughout, the intricate nature of the crimes solved or the courtroom scenes to end each ep. I could analyse my love for these shows for days without getting to the bottom of it. And to be honest, I don’t really care. As long as I always have Dick by my side I am a contented and happy man.

Best legal mind in the world Jack McCoy