Friday, January 14, 2011

I wanna be a Super Model!!!

I've decided that when I grow up I wanna be a SUPER MODEL!

I desperately want to be a 6 foot+, lean, mean, chiselled machine. I want to stop traffic.

Just like these glamorous boys earning their pretty penny for walking in a straight line. It just seems like heaven to me. To say nothing of the clothes.

Now would you call that a smock or a kaftan??? Leather with poo-catchers, a safari suit with mini-shorts, oversized manbags and overalls. It is all pure fantasy and I love Love LOVE it all.

There is one model who seriously looks like he's lost when he gets to the end of the runway - go figure. And another on a lean. 

But back to me... remember, its always all about me.

The harsh reality is that I am 5 foot 8 in heels with a head more like Bert Newton than chiselled, atop a body that could double for Ghostbuster's marshmallow man. It seems I've got quite a bit of work to do before my Gaultier runway debut.

I would just love to be able to swan down Crown St wearing my kaftan/smock with my new Prada loafers in a look that would be ridiculous on the common-man but fabulous on my supermodel body.

I want to have to turn sideways to be able to fit through a door because of my shoulders not my stomach.

I want to tower over everyone at a crowded bar to just nod at the frantic staff for my next martini.

I want to be able to cruise through life trading purely on my looks and not having to worry about developing a personality or brain. It would just make life so much easier. Its exhausting trying to be funny and smart.

And can you imagine the travel!

Oh well. I know my place in the world and that's at the short peoples table, which is just one up from the kiddies table. I will make bad jokes and learn stuff. Its done me ok so far I guess.

It just means I have to give up my dream of Paris and Milan and settle for Redfern and St Leonards.

I can always watch online.


Shannon said...

Oh please. You're the most handsome and glam man I know. I've been in crowded bars with you and there's no doubt that you have presence, lighting a room like a bonfire.

Jo said...

a) Shut up. You're like a fun-sized Mars Bar. Little, but delicious.
b) Copyright problem. You're writing about modules. THAT'S MY GIG.

Wanderlust said...

I like that Batboy costume with the man bag. I could totally see that in Kansas.

Ms Styling You said...

Poo-catchers are not a good look on anyone, St. Murphy, but if you did become a super model, at least you would know your way back to the change room from the end of the runway!

Cal said...

St Murphy you are hot. If you were any hotter with that personality there'd be no hope for anyone else on the planet

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