Sunday, January 9, 2011

A bio of sorts... Things that piss me off!

I was going to write a lovely, fluffy, warm bio to introduce myself to this new world but then I realised how boring that would be. I have a beautiful boyfriend, two gorgeous dogs and a house in Redfern blah blah blah. I’m a publicist, love my friends, drink too much blah blah blah. I enjoy longs walks along the beach… (axe falls).

What I would much rather do is tell you all things that piss me off. That’s far more interesting! You all know you can tell so much more about a person from their dark, moody side rather than their happy, shiny, Prozac-laced side. So this post, only my second of all time, will be exposing the underbelly of St. Murphy. Part ugly, part shocking, some of it just plain ridiculous.

Gay Marriage. Its 2011 people!!! Nothing makes me angrier than to think that I can’t marry my partner if I wanted to but straight couples can. Who is the Government to say that our love is less important than anyone else’s. Infuriates me! But you’ve heard all this from me before

Liberal Party. Ok so lets line them up… Howard, Costello, Turnbull, Abbott. Don’t you think its crazy-scary that of these men Turnbull is the lesser of the evils. Its their arrogance, self-importance, lack of humanity and deep-seeded conservatism that will always make my blood boil. Only Party’s I put below them on the huge Senate ballot are those of the Christian Family/Fred Nile/religious right ilk.

Sand. I grew up in the country so sand is not part of my DNA. For many years I’ve avoided the beach like the plague as my frustration at sand for outweighed any pleasure. We even have a place on the beach that I use for watching dvd’s. But I’m pleased to announce this problem has been solved! My brother and sister-in-law gave me a banana-lounge for Xmas which keeps me hovering a lovely 6 inches above the sand. Heaven.

Dogs Can’t Talk. I hate hate hate that I have the two funniest dogs in the world but I can’t prove it cause they can’t speak. It’s an injustice. I could retire on those puppies if they could.

Pouring. This is an odd one. But for as long as I can remember the sound of pouring, the glug glug glug, makes me irrationally angry. It can be any liquid – same result. Conferences with self-serve water jugs on the table are my worst nightmare.

Smoking. Starting smoking at the age of 20 is the one big regret of my life, hands down. For 15 years I’ve been trying to quit. I hate it, and I’ve hated it for a very long time. I’ve kinda got it under control the last 12 months, but like alcoholics, I think I’ll always be a smoker. It should be illegal as there is no logical reason at all why cigerettes should be so readily available for people to kill themselves.

Denim Shorts. This is a Mens rule only. I don’t care what length, what style, what occasion – no man should ever be seen in a pair of denim shorts. IT’S JUST WRONG!

Organised Religion. A clanger to end. And I’ll tread carefully here. My frustration is with any organised religion that preaches to the young of their faith that homosexuality is wrong, a sin, should be punished or protested against. I don’t care what adults are taught, they can take responsibility for themselves. But children and teenagers are still finding their way. I pity the poor child in church who has questions about their own sexuality (to say nothing of the priests!)

Over and out. A positive story to tell next time. 


So Now What? said...

Ahh the glug glug glug. STOP IT. Equally the sound of people downing that glass. The glump, glump, glump. Makes me homicidal.

Great first post.

PS, perhaps you dogs do talk, they are just waiting for you to go to sleep. Cabbage Patch Doll style.

:) Bern x (massive fan of Mrs Woog)

Ms Styling You said...

Well, you are on a roll, aren't you? Did you see my post today that talked (among other things) about women's denim shorts and the need at the moment for said women to have their pockets poking out the bottom of them as a friend quiet eloquently put it, "like sanitary pads"

Mumstrosity said...

Denim shorts!? Come on they're not ALL bad lol ok maybe on older people. But at my age I don't mind a little denim here and there on the fellas.

Sand hovering sounds like a pretty good past-time, I don't do swimming at the beach, or anywhere anymore for that matter lol

bigwords is... said...

Oh, I love the sound of glug glug glug, but I do not like denim shorts on men, nor do I like sand - hate the stuff! Two post in one day - wow!

BabyMac said...

A far better way to get to know someone I think. Bravo!

SawHole said...

I love a good rant post. Totally with you on the dog thing.

Mrs Woog said...

Denim shorts make me stabby. You write good but xo

Tina Gray said...

I hate sand. Beaches would be much more appealing if they were concreted.

PinkPatentMaryJanes said...

Watching Can't Stop The Music the other night my eyes were assaulted by the sight of Bruce Jenner in teeny denim shorts - AND A CROP TOP. My eyes, MY EYES!

Loving getting to know you!

reality raver said...

Thank god I am not alone in hating sand. Irritating and it gets everywhere. Look forward to reading more of your blog - it looks like it is going to be a fun ride.

Wanderlust said...

Oh Pink, can we just add Bruce Jenner to the list, regardless of what he's wearing?

So glad you have your own blog now! This post is hilarious. Pouring. I bet your dogs wish you could talk, too.

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