What does my wardrobe say about me?

Moving house is a shit-fight!

It’s not just that you have to spend so much time packing everything up, it’s having to deal with all the crap you've stored that is the worst part.

It’s disturbing, hilarious and embarrassing all at the same time. And that’s just the wardrobe! Yesterday I packed up all my clothes for the big move on Wednesday and I had never realised this before but your wardrobe is like a museum of your life. I could plot events back to at least ’95 just by sorting through my clothes (’89 if you include what’s in the washing basket).

Starting point

You may find this odd but I kinda treat clothes like souvenirs. If it has any sentimental value I keep it. If it gives me a really strong memory I keep it. If I know that I looked really good in it I keep it. I’ve got a giant big suitcase full of clothes that I don’t wear but I just can’t bring myself to let go of. I’m a hoarder! Just ask my mum, she has a whole shed at home packed full of all the shit I can’t let go of.

So yesterday I took a sentimental journey as well as find a few things that I didn’t even know I had. The first bag I filled was socks and jocks. My favourite drawer is always my sock drawer cause another weird thing about me is I only buy socks when I'm travelling so they each have a name. Today I am wearing London, tomorrow it might be Thailand, Toronto or Adelaide. Even when they’re holey I struggle to let go, how can you bin something that has a name?

CSU & Neighbours jackets

I actually laughed out loud at the memories from this one. It’s my Charles Sturt University tracksuit from 1995 when I somehow got roped into competing for CSU at the National University Games in Gymnastics. Now let me be clear, I have never in my life done gymnastics. We trained for about 2 hours a week for approx 5 weeks and then went to Nationals. It was one of the funniest trips of my entire life. We stayed in a caravan park, got shitfaced on tequila the night before and one of my teammates couldn’t even get his gut up and over the high-bar. Love that tracksuit!

Next to it is one of 4 items in my wardrobe with a Neighbours logo on it. This one is a jacket celebrating 20 years! Well Neighbours just had its 25^th so ballpark it's 5-6 years old. See, anything that has ‘historical’ significance must be kept. I love Neighbours and have had a lot to do with it over the years so I’m sure I’ll be passing this one on to my niece of nephew as I am shuffled off to the retirement home – just as Neighbours celebrates its 65^th.

Never worn!

I’m almost 100% sure I’ve ever even worn this little treasure. It’s a Donna Karan sleeveless puffer jacket. Why the hell is it in my wardrobe? I scored it from a photographer friend who was having a throw out and I thought it was the coolest thing. I mean who doesn’t want to own a free DKNY puffer in 2002? Why I’ve kept it all these years I have no idea but I still haven’t tossed it out. One day they will be cool again…

I’ve got a whole section of my wardrobe dedicated to “when I lose weight…”. I’ve got atleast 3 Marcs slim-fit shirts in a Small that I have a snowballs chance in hell of ever fitting into again. But a girls got have a dream, yeah? When I get my stomach stapled they will look great on me. Speaking of things I don’t fit into... I’ve still got a RL polo that my ex-exBoyfriend, the Sculptor, gave me. Must have been in 2002. For some reason I can’t throw it away cause it was a gift from Sculptor, jeez I’m a sentimental old bastard. But the absolute worst is I’ve kept the t’shirt that I was wearing the seedy night I met exBoyfriend. Its TINY! I met ex during the ‘dark year’ so I was fabulously thin – now I’d be lucky for it to fit my thigh.

Used to be soft and fluffy

This one I did manage to let go of… it’s my Garnier robe from the very first Australian Idol. I loved that show and I particularly loved that series. Scored it for doing some work for the sponsor and its one of the few mementos I have from that special time. But it is now literally crusty from being shoved down the back of my wardrobe for years so its time for it to go. Someone shopping at St Vinnies could love it I’m sure.

I’ve also got quite a few things of dad’s that I keep. A pair of his pyjama’s, his lawn bowls jacket and his bowling shoes. Love them, of course I’m not getting rid of them. Disturbingly I found to Ed Hardy pieces – a cap and a T. I know I’m a bogan but I didn’t think I was that bad. Had to put some thought into it and the T came from the Idol wardrobe department in ‘03 and the cap I bought in LA in ’06 before EH hit Oz so I felt a little better about myself. Both went to Vinnies.

So wardrobe is done now, all nicely packed. As big as a pain in the arse as it was to pack, I did love love love some of the memories. Had never realised that my clothes tell a story. I like that. I don’t feel so bad about being such a hoarder now.

From this...

...to this...

...to this!