The hunt for my Royal Wedding invite begins!

There was an oversight by the Royal Family a few weeks ago when I failed to receive my wedding invite. So I’ve popped myself on a big jet plane to London to get this matter sorted. I’m in London on the hunt for my wedding invite, I shall not return until I have one.

So far I’ve had not much luck making contact. It seems Will and Kate don’t hang out at the same places I do, I’m yet to bump into them. They weren’t at TopMan getting their honeymoon outfits, and they weren’t at the two fabulous gay bars I’ve been to. It also seems they are not hanging out at Cousin M’s house in Walthamstow having a roast chicken dinner like I was. I think I’m going to have to widen my circle if I am to find them. Unless someone has Harry’s mobile number, I’d pay money for that.

But Will and Kate are EVRYWHERE!! And as is my way, I’ve become obsessed with their heads. Lets start with my absolute favourite. The Kate and Will tea towel. Heaven! (A scary Russian man yelled at me for taking the photo instead of buying)

And it just gets tackier and tackier from there. There is literally nothing you can’t find with their glorious mugs on them, including mugs…

Pens, pencils, plates, crockery sets, t’shirts, postcards… And of course your Kate and Will ashtray and matching lighter.

Now I've ruined Xmas cause you've all seen your gifts. The only thing I haven’t found is underwear! How cool would that be to have Will on your jocks. So many jokes to make but so little time.

But it is literally a nation obsessed with the big event. And I think Londoners can be divided in to two categories – those staying in town for it and those who are fleeing. Its like Sydney-siders during the Sydney Olympics. My advice people, stick around as it’s a once in a lifetime.

Now one other casual observation that I want to share… It is also a nation of men obsessed with JEWELLERY! Its seems to be a huge trend here to wear cheap, layered jewellery of every description. All the cool-kids are looking more and more like 80’s Madonna. A quick run through the standards TopMan, H&M, Zara and Next and you’ll find it every where. Here’s what I mean, a selection of long beads you can buy in TopMan. Yes, the Menswear section, no question about it.

Of course, being the victim of popular culture that I am, I’ve picked myself up a lovely trinket. A beautiful, so cheap looking 3in1 silver necklace. So stylish. No, its not too young for me (Snort!). And once I’d made this $5 purchase the question then became “Where the hell am I gonna wear it?”. Work of course!

And the Royal Wedding.