As you know I am Twitter obsessed – if it doesn’t happen on Twitter it doesn’t really happen. I’ve lived on it since I discovered it in August. One of the guys that I’ve been bantering with over the past few months is a guy called @Simieboy. All I know about him is what I know from his tweets. He’s a very funny guy, he’s madly in love with his boyfriend, he just got a new job and he has a pool. He is from Melbourne and I’m working down here at the moment. Perfect time for us to catch up and finally meet.
So why am I nervous? Well I've never ever met someone from the internet before. Boyfriend and I met the old-fashioned way - in a dirty nightclub very late in the night - and we've been together for 6 years now. Before that I was a self-absorbed trashbag. So I’ve never had any experience with any sort of internet dating or blind dates. All those sites like ManHunt, Grindr, Gaydar, RSVP and chat rooms are completely foreign to me. To meet someone who you’ve only been tapping away with on a computer is ground-breaking. Obviously our Twitter-date is purely platonic and its all about meeting new cool people, but it still makes me real nervous to be meeting someone that you’ve only ever known online.
What if they don’t like me? What if I’m boring? What if I’m not as interesting as I am online (you can easily fake interesting in under 140 characters)? What if he doesn't recognise me from my 7 year old profile pic? Now I understand all the insecurity that comes with meeting people online. I’ve seriously been planning wardrobe, saving up some interesting stories and trying to remember what lies I’ve told in tweets. And all I’m talking about is meeting a new friend! I can’t even imagine what pressure you must put on yourself if you were trying to get laid.
Ok, maybe I’m being a little dramatic, that’s certainly in my nature. But the bottom line is I think our witty, semi-intelligent repartee will translate into a new, in-the-flesh Melbourne friend. For years my motto has been “I don’t do new people” – I’m too lazy and they bore me easily. My friends have set the bar too high. Twitter has shown me that maybe I have been too judgemental all these years and that you can always be making new friends. It happens at least once a day on Twitter, surely some of those can be shifted into the real world?
So @Simieboy and I are going to put it to the test tonight. It could be hilarious, it could end in tears. What if he wears denim shorts or votes Liberal? What if he loves soft-rock music or Brut deoderant? Who really cares. The best part is that after many years of being a selfish, judgemental, rude bitch I’ve learnt that its probably not a good thing to go through life “not doing new people”.
I wonder if we'll only speak in sentences that are under 140 characters long???
Note: It was @TheKylieApp and @Paullamond's idea to write this! They saved me from a blank page.