Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Angry man today, angry at myself!

Today I’ve got the shits with myself. Filthy! So its going to be a short sharp harsh direct post today, all directed at myself. I make life so much harder than it should be. From today – Wednesday Feb 9 - that’s all changing. I know I repeat the same mistakes over and over – so boring, boring, boring! I’m going on the record so you can pull me up on it if you see me making any of them again.

No more smoking! I hate it. I’ve hated it for so many years. I just quit for 6 months and stuffed it all up since NYE. Its gotta stop. I stink. I can’t breathe. I’m sure to lose teeth. I can feel my poor little lungs dying inside me. No more smoking from today. A promise to myself and you. Kick me hard if you see me with one.

Stay on top of goddamn messages. I have a phobia about messages and it takes me ages to build yo courage to check them. Granted I have email, 2 voicemail, texting, Twitter, blog and Facebook so that’s a lot of messages. Voicemail is the hardest, it stresses me out! For the record, don’t even bother messaging me on Facebook cause it’s the least checked as the 30 or so people waiting for replies will testify. For an alleged professional communicator this is appalling. Lift your game StMurphy!
I miss those days.
Stop making excuses not to exercise. It’s just getting so ridiculous and I can not deny how much better I feel when I do get off my fat arse. I didn’t go this week cause my only socks didn’t match the singlet I wanted to wear. Ridiculous.

Binge drinking is not worth the two days it takes to get back to normal. I do not bounce back; mentally or physically. I love love love those nights but 2 drinks per hour rather than 4 would be just as fun. Shots must be limited. And no doubles.

Stop wasting so much time pfaffing. Pfaffing is my term for pottering. Some nights I can pfaff for hours and achieve so very little. I can spend an hour re-organising my handbag. And I’m a hoarder so its not like I ever throw anything out, just shift it to a new place. Biggest time-waster ever.

Turn off the television and go to bed earlier. This seems so simple but I can not manage to do it – especially if I’m not at home. I’ve been in Melbourne for 6 nights and I sit up watching shit television for all hours – FOR NO REASON. Dog-tired now…
BTW, this is not actually me...
Stop eating all the shit food just because its easier and you’re addicted to the sugar/fat rush. I’d been so good with my diet last year – gluten and carb free. I was even close to being positively slender. In 2011 I’m back to being a Biggest Loser contestant. Its gotta stop. I’ve halved my wardrobe again.

And this is potentially the saddest of all my new rules. I have to limit how long I spend on Twitter. I have an addiction like its crack. Once I start I can't stop. I think I may need professional help with this one. Are there clinics I can go to or support groups? Its really knocking me about, the obsession has to end.

So from today I am going to be a better person. I know what I have to do, now I just have to do it. And I’m roping you in to be a part of my support group.

My name is StMurphy and I am a lazy, smoker, alcoholic, timewaster, pfaffer, binger, Twittering, appalling communicator.

And its gotta STOP!!!


Mrs Woog said...

Boring. But good. Got your back honey x

jodie said...

Dear St. Murphy,
If I can relate to everything you have said (apart from the twitter) does that make me boring? Guilty as charged!
Loved your excuse about the sox not matching the singlet. I hear you sister.... tho. funny as it is... Shame on us.
Here's to the new you.
Josie x

Brendan said...

Sounds like you need a good power ballad and some fist clenching to set you straight (so to speak). Cue Heart...

Peter said...

Smoking ... you know how I feel, stop it already. it's disgusting, smelly, expensive and stupid. You've quit enough times, it is time to stop for good!

Messages ... I feel your pain, I hate a voicemail. The anxiety voicemail gives me sometimes is ridiculous, half the time when I finally listen there was nothing important there. Emails I sit on them for days sometimes not knowing how to respond. Then I type, edit, retype, edit then send, when it is finally sent I then realise what it is that I wanted to say.

Exercise ... no thank you

Binge drinking ... Full disclosure, I'm drinking a glass of wine right now. Drinks are good, too many on a school night is bad, save it for the weekend. Shots are evil, I have been avoiding them for about 7 years now, occasionally I'll have a nice sweet boring sort, but never the hard stuff. Too many times have I said "the last thing I remember from last night is doing a shot of tequila." Tequila = To-kill-ya

Time wasting ... I have work to do right now, yet I'm replying to your blog. This allows me to blame you for the work I didn't do tonight.

TV ... I know your pain, I could watch all night. When I add in downloading shows, there is no shortage of things to watch. Favourite downloads from Australia, Biggest Loser, and Master Chef (can't wait for the new season). And I am man enough to admit I love British soaps, couldn't live without Coronation Street and Eastenders.

Food ... again we are in the same boat, I try to be good, but sometimes I fail. I grow, then I shrink then I grow again. I am currently in a growth phase, promising myself to shrink before summer (for you Aussies I am writing from frigid Canada so I have a few months before I have to unwrap in public)

Twitter ... I don't get it, I don't understand it, and when I try to read a tweet I usally don't know what it means. I would ask for help but I don't care.

StMurphy I am with you all the way ... as long as you quit smoking

Aberrant Venus said...

Good Luck! Especially the smoking. I quit about 4 weeks ago :)

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