Smart and Funny Friends: A Japanese two-parter with a face peel

Part 1 – 5.00pmish

I am filled with nervous anticipation…

Let me pre-empt Part 1 of this post by saying I am feeling very sad and sorry for myself at the moment. I am hung-over. While still very much recovering from last nights work party (note to self: don’t drink so much at work functions, never a good look to dribble in front of Boss), I am backing up tonight with a dinner with two of the great minds of our generation. Just when I feel like I’ve been hit by the vodka-cocktail-bus I need to pick myself up to sparkle and shine for JoThornely and Mrs Woog.

Mrs Woog and JoThornely

I struggle to keep up with these ladies in wit, intellect and alcohol consumption when I am in peak condition, let alone when I am still blowing .08. They are kinda like Joan Rivers meets Ellen DeGeneres meets Chelsea Handler but with Aussie accents.

This is the problem with having smart and funny friends, they are smart and funny. So smart and funny that one day I am sure they will have their own talk show. And I will be like the midget Mexican Chuy sitting over in the corner. Normally I am one to push, shove and gouge my way to being the centre of attention. In the company of JoThornely and Mrs Woog I am supporting cast. My nervous anticipation is because I think they may get bored with me tonight, and that would break my heart. Oh woe is me and my stinking hangover…

Part 2 – 11.30pmish

So after a quick face peel and a disco nap I was hot to trot and scornful of my earlier sad sorry self.

Just quickly on the face peel, and I kid you not, it has literally taken 5 years off my face! The fabulous peeps at the worlds best men’s spa ManKind gave me the best, quickest peel treatment, they are amarsing. ManKind have the very difficult job of keeping my monobrow under control so I’m in there every other week. We’re now gonna try and make my skin look age-appropriate – 38 rather than 58 – they have their work cut out for them. But this peel has already changed my life and I just know I’m gonna get addicted. I’m glowing like a lava-lamp and soft as a Tontine pillow. I’ll look 14 in a matter of weeks.

Tonight JT and I introduced the Woog to Wagaya – the most brilliant touch-screen Japanese restaurant in Syd-er-ney! Yes you heard correct. There is a touchscreen at your table and you order all your food and drinks from it. It is truly joyous. The food ain’t Toko but the fun you have with the screen makes up for it. Mrs Woog couldn’t keep her dirty mits off it and in under 10 minutes we were knee-deep in gyouza, karaage and sushi.

Now from this point on I am going to tell the story in pictures. First off, Mrs Woog ordered a raw egg. Why, because she could goddamn it.

Then after we were suitable stuffed with food, obviously the next thing you do is a photoshoot. First pic is above, the next in the sequence...

Now how beautiful is this! Mrs Woog's two gorgeous Woogettes made me presents. Jazz Hands Jack made me some stunning bracelets which I love and cherish and will wear to work...

As modelled by Mrs Woog (I don't wear gold bangles, only purple)

And Harry is a budding brilliant artist and did for me these drawings. Don't you love how much he says love, he must really love me.

Harry obviously knows exactly what I am all about so he also gave me his favourite WWF card (Mrs Woog is slightly concerned...)

So we dragged ourselves away from the touch-screen Japanese after about 18 plates of delight, and there is only one thing to do after eating Japanese and thats KARAOKE! Mrs Woog was bang up for it, JoThornely and I not so forthcoming. We hardly blended in with the crowd at Covent Garden Hotel - we weren't wearing Elvis suits or Adidas - but they certainly were VERY serious about their karaoke. Even Mrs Woog was slightly intimidated. Once she gave herself some rock-star hair though she was pumped and primed!

But once she took to the stage and did her first hair flick she had the crowd in the palm of her hand. Carly Simon's You're So Vain has never sounded better. And never sung with such emotion and conviction. People took to the dance floor, a clap started up. It was brilliant. And by the time she was working the pole it may have well been the Grammy's. She even ad-libbed with "I'm a mum and don't get out much" which we all know is a lie.

Is that Beyonce???

I love me gals, and nothing can make you forget a hangover like smart and funny friends. And the best part of all, we had an absolute ball AND I won't even have a hangover tomorrow.


For those foolish enough not to already follow their blogs... Woogsworld and Jo-JoBlogs


And also be sure to follow ManKind on Twitter, they have their training wheels on.