Friday, August 12, 2011

Thou shall not bloggeth drunk!

I’m breaking one of my sacred St. Murphy rules tonight and that is…

Thou shall not bloggeth drunk!

Granted, I am only what ladies would call ‘tippsy’ but nonetheless this is requiring far greater concentration than it normally should, would or could.

I am resisting the temptation to pour myself a vodka and diet coke; instead I am having a strong herbal tea to calm my frayed nerves and am focused on getting this tale down while it is fresh in my mind.

It started with cocktails with the ladies, and I use that term loosely. All my senses feel like they have been abused from every angle after spending a few hours with JoThornely and MichelleLLeslie. Mental note to self; women are very different and talk about women-stuff. Avoid At All Cost!

I think I learnt more about the female species tonight in a two-hour window than I’d learnt in the rest of my life. The terminology, the subject matter, the mind-blowing directness; all of it sensational. Now boys, my ladies may be extremely extremely hot, but for your own safety and welfare do not mess with these two. At least four times I found myself with my head in my hands laughing hysterically. I fear it is a lethal combination to be both attractive and smart. Thank god I have only one of these assets to deal with.

I only wish I could retell their stories, but I fear for the faint-hearted! On the boring side we drank martini’s and champagne and ate gorgeous Japanese.

Then something weird happened. JoThornely and I found ourselves in the middle of a political debate. There are these community events called Pub Politics where they put high-profiled politicians in a pub with a moderator and take questions from the drunken clientele.

We stumbled into The Clock toward the end of their session but we immediately got drawn into the drama unfolding before us. It was Joe Hockey, Graham Richardson and my new political-lover Kate Ellis going into battle, Joe Hildebrand was moderator. As you know I love an opinion and no one was short of one here.

I make no secret of being a Labor voter, but of all the Liberal politicians I consider Hockey one of the more acceptable of an otherwise very bad bunch. I’ve changed my mind. He is as rotten as the rest of them. During a debate on gay marriage he had the nerve and the gall to say that his gay 'staff' argued with him that they wanted to be different and not marry! Give me their names and number Joe, I’m gonna get to the bottom of this! I don’t believe any gay man does not want equality. What they were probably saying Joe is that if they actually had a choice – which we don’t – that they would choose not to marry. Just as many straight people do. But at least straight people have a choice!

Hockey I think you are a fool for making this flippant comment a part of the debate. It’s not about wanting to be different, we will always be different, that comes from being a MINORITY! It’s about wanting EQUALITY!!! Just like any other member of society would expect. I shall not waste any more oxygen on you Joe Hockey.

For the briefest of moments though I felt very intellectual and politically active, and I loved it! Granted, I could not stop tweeting the entire time, but it was happening all around me so how could I not.

Now a brief spiel about my new political-lover Kate Ellis. Why is it that all of the politicians that I like, enjoy, agree with and want to vote for are women? Clover, Kate, Tanya, Kristina, Sarah, Julia, even Julie. Women make more sense. They are level-headed. They encourage a sense of trust that male politicians simply don’t. Welcome to my fold Kate, pleasure to have you here.

Of course the night ended with JoThornely and I meeting some new Twitter friends that we’d never met before. Came about cause they saw our tweets at the event. Again I say, Twitter is the greatest democracy ever invented. Twitter should decide elections and policy. Twitter is everything.

All this and still home by 10.30. And if I was really drunk I guess I would have used far more colourful language to describe Joe Hockey and his attitude to gay marriage.

See you all at the Rally on Saturday!

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