Monday, July 4, 2011

It Gets Better: a very special guest post

Feeling honoured and proud at St. Murphy today as we have a very special guest post. It’s a very important time of year for my friend Arrjaydub and he is sharing his story with us today. 
It will both break your heart and completely inspire you.
His message is a beautiful one. Over to you Arrjaydub!

Everyone who knows of me knows I’m a particularly chirpy little homo. I’ll laugh and play and throw glitter with the best of them, but every year around this time I feel a little maudlin. Let me tell you why that is.

I grew up in a family of fundamental Christians, Jehovah’s Witnesses, to be precise. We were a big, close family of 7, and our lives revolved around our devotion to preaching the word of our God, Jehovah. To say I had a difficult childhood would be unfair, as I don’t consider that to be the case. I was part of a loving family, and my parents were caring and attentive. We had a strong bond, and I would have considered each of my siblings to be the closest of friends.

Unfortunately for me, I no longer share my family’s belief in their God. We could sit here and argue about why that may be, though, as I’m sure you’ve guessed it, at the crux of the matter is my love for those of the same sex. What this means is that I have been excommunicated from their faith, and removed from their lives entirely. Come July 7, it will be 4 years to the day that I removed myself from the organization known as Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Arrjaydub's first anniversary of leaving the church
So now we come to the real reason for this blog post. I wanted to share with you all how I feel about being the man I am today without my family’s support. You know how I feel? Truly happy.

Yes, it is true, I have not spoken to any of my family (bar the VERY occasional text from my father) for four years, and when I left the religion, I lost also the very core of my group of friends. While new converts are freely invited to join Jehovah’s Witnesses, once you are a baptised member of their religion, you cannot remove yourself without facing excommunication from the group as a whole. My family are forbidden to make contact, and   their devotion to their faith, while misguided, remains whole.
Family wedding the last time Arrjaydub saw his family in 2007
At 27, that was a hard task. I started from scratch with the help of my beloved Mother Hen, a workmate of only 2 years acquaintance, who warmly accepted me into her family. I celebrated my very first Christmas with them in December 2007. Since then, they have been a wonderful support base, and Mother Hen has always been there when I’ve needed that motherly advice. Add to that the myriad of friends I’ve made in Sydney, a city I consider to be incredibly welcoming and warm. This new hometown has provided me with my new family, a family who accepts that I don’t intend to live my life restricted by doctrine I have no faith in.
Mother Hen and Arrjaydub
So, I guess what I’m truly saying is, It Gets Better. Now i’m not being glib here, it really, truly does. I was fortunate in that I found my way in a world that is so quick to judge anyone based on their race, sex or sexuality. Not everyone finds that peace, or is able to reach a point of happiness so quickly, or at all. Thousands of Australian youths suffer from depression that leads to suicide purely because they are lost in a world they believe will quickly condemn them. Statistics released in late 2009 by Suicide Prevention Australia show that the rate of suicide attempts by GLBT people is 3.5 to 14 times higher than for their heterosexual peers. This is a shocking statistic, and one that chills me to the bone, because that so easily could have been me or any number of my friends.

If you are a young, troubled GLBT teen, I want to tell you something from the bottom of my heart:

Seek out help. No one has the right to tell you that you are unworthy of love and attention. You are as deserving of love and support as your heterosexual peers. Should it be that even your family are willing to turn their back on you, do not despair that this means you will forever be without love. We are surrounded by like minded, loving souls who are more than happy to share their experiences with you and provide you with the love and support that you so desperately need.

There are many organisations specifically designed for this, and I link to just a few below.




Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you are less important, less worthy than another family member, another person, simply because you do not share their personal ‘moral’ stance. Hopefully then you, like me, can find yourself finally happy with who you are and where you are going.


Arrjaydub is on Twitter over here.

589 comments:

1 – 200 of 589   Newer›   Newest»
Katy said...

What a beautiful post. My Mr was brought up as a a Jehovahs witness and has not been one for some time (and I am far from one) so I can somewhat understand your story.
How fabulous that you have made such a wonderfully positive life for yourself - I hope you get all the happiness you deserve. xxx

Jo said...

RJW, proud to be one of your hundreds of new aunties. x

Ms Styling You said...

Oh, this is such a poignant story - I'm sorry you no longer see your family but I'm stoked you've found a new one.

So Now What? said...

Amazing story. I'm sorry your family don't get share in, what is a truly wonderful man. It really is their loss. You are one very strong individual. xxoxx Bern

Mia Freedman said...

What a magnificent and important post. Would adore to re-pub on Mamamia to spread the word further.
Let me know if that's something you'd consider.....
Big love,
Mia xxx

PlanningQueen said...

Love the positive vibe of this post, even though it discusses such a big loss. Thanks for sharing your story.

Ellie said...

Thank goodness there are people like Mother Hen out there.

Great guest post.

Arrjaydub said...

Thanks guys for all the feedback, I really appreciate it!

Mia, it would be an absolute pleasure to have this posted on mamamia as well.

Thanks again, everyone! xx
Rob

Anthony Venn-Brown said...

Great Story Robert...thanks.

you have given some great resources here. Can I suggest that for those from Christian backgrounds and are gay you will get specific help at www.freedom2b.org To read a different slant on how christian parents have responded you can read about that here http://www.freedom2b.org/16

Deirdre said...

That's really inspiring and beautiful. I'm so happy to hear the people around you have made you part of their family. I was raised in a big irish catholic family and can't say i know how you feel but thank you for sharing your story. Inspirational.

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