Once upon a time there was a little boy who felt he had a lot to say. He talked a lot, he tweeted a lot, he was an opinionated little son-of-a-bitch and forced his stories on anyone who would listen.
But still he felt there was more he could say.
He knew of two magnificent princesses (or two ugly step-sisters depending on the day of the week) who called themselves Bloggers. They typed and typed and said even more than you could in a Tweet. The little boy thought they were amazing and that they were really cool. He decided that when he grew up he wanted to be just like his princesses Woogsworld and JoThornely.
“How do I become a Blogger? How do I become a Blogger?” squeaked the little boy at the princesses.
“Easy you dumb little shit, you just write it you fool! Now never interrupt us again when we are drinking!” said the now ugly step-sisters.
|Woogsworld and JoThornely|
Off the little boy went and started a blog. He decided to call it St. Murphy. This was kind of like his name but what he really liked about it was that it suggestested he was a Saint. Just like Mary McKillop. The irony is that nothing could be further from the truth. He’s a dirty, naughty, horny little boy who gets himself into trouble all the time, he just pretends he’s a Saint.
So type the little boy did. He typed some dumb stuff, some funny stuff, lots of gay-boy stuff, and he told the never-ending story of when he broke-up with his little-boy-boyfriend. The little boy found that he had more stories to tell then even he thought. He could write about anything he wanted it, anything at all, and he loved it! Before he knew it was hooked liked a gremlin-drug-addict and spending most of his nights on his couch in his little home, Man Pit, bashing out some stories for St. Murphy.
Then something strange started to happen to the little boy. And no, we are not talking about how his bush grew. He started to meet some other Bloggers. Bloggers are like these weird wonderful creatures who live deep in the forest in a magical online world. It turns out Bloggers are incredibly funny, warm, generous, giving, authentic, genuine people (and not at all like the two princess/ugly step-sisters) who the little boy loved, loved, loved to meet.
Suddenly there was exciting news! All the Bloggers were getting together for a giant, fabulous, exciting Ball where everyone could play together all weekend; it was called Blogopolis. The little boy got so excited that he bought his ticket and booked his fairy-flight straight away. He even had some business cards made cause thats what the cool-kid Bloggers all do. He counted down the days with his new Blogger friends and before he knew it the big weekend had arrived.
But right at the last minute the little boy had a panic attack!
“I’m not a blogger? Why do I think I’m a Blogger? I’ve been doing this for a minute, I’m not going to fit in at all!” See, the little boy was not used to having a crisis-of-confidence, he was normally a very arrogant little fucker. But this was a whole new, exciting world filled with gorgeous, smart people.
“Damn it,” the little boy said, “I’m going to have to fake it! Just like I do with the two princess/ugly step-sisters!”
So faking it he is. Today the little boy is off to the fabulous Blogger Ball called Blogopolis and he will be faking it every step of the way. All the little boy hopes for is that at the end of the night the beautiful Queen Fairies, StylingYou and Edenland, pop him in a fairy-cab before he turns into a cucumber.
And that he finally learns what it means to be a Blogger!
Now read their blogs, you will love them like I do...
Stay tuned for next installment of this Fairytale on Monday…