Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Fuck you Smoking!

Goddamn I feel like I have spent most of my adult life trying to quit smoking.

***WARNING! A verbally violent (self-directed) post
Death vomit!
I am so sick of filthy smoking! I have pretty much been a smoker since the day I first had one at the grand old age of 20.5 years old. The dark years where up until about 34 when I ‘successfully’ quit for the first time – but that’s not to say I hadn’t tried heaps of times before. Since 34 I have gone long periods without one, and also very short periods before I’ve had my next.

I have literally tried every trick in the book to quit. Let me list them for you just so you get the full picture…

Allen Carr Easy Way to Quite Smoking
Allen Carr If you Can’t Quit This Time You’re An Idiot
Cold Turkey

I’ve seen doctors, therapists, self-help guru’s…

The most successful I’ve ever been was 6 months late last year on the lozenges then NYE fucked me up. Just did 3 weeks and then fucked up again last weekend. It just drives my insane and leaves me furious! Why are cigarette companies left to make millions off the sale of these little bitches of things.
Should be coloured black!
Smoking is this unbelievably weird combination of emotional, physical and psychological addiction. Somehow you are meant to conquer all three addictions at once and still come out of it like life is normal. For me, and I know how tragic this sounds, smoking is a ‘normal life’ for me.

My chest hurts, I stink, stairs are my worst nightmare and given the history of cancer in my family I just know it will be the cause of my death – and chances are that will be premature.

And at the risk of grossing you out… I’ve lost 7, I repeat 7, teeth from gum disease. So not only is it causing death in almost every part of my body it will also mean I can eat nothing but soup for the rest of my life.


I 100% believe that smoking should be made illegal. It is a fool government that doesn’t try to push this through. As addicted as I have been over the years I know as fact that if it wasn’t so easy for me to buy them then I wouldn’t be able to smoke the way I have. The savings in healthcare for all involved would be astronomical! Just ban the fuckers and be done with it, PLEASE!
B&H - You have SOOOO much to answer for!
It is the single greatest regret of my life that I didn’t stop back when I was a carefree Uni student, back when I thought that my life was indestructible. I can not even fathom how different, how much better, my life would/will have been if I never started smoking. Fucking ridiculous that something that can so dramatically damage a life like that is available from Coles and Woolworths supermarkets, and your local newsagent.

Not making any promises here today. I’m sick of telling people I’ve quit only to have to try and explain why I’m holding a cigerette two weeks later. It’s the running joke with my workmates, I think my friends lost interest years ago. I goddamn bore myself with it.

Ban the shit-sticks and be done with it!

And I promise that I’ll try and extend my life by as much as possible and smoke as little as my stupid fucked-up addiction allows.


Mrs Woog said...

Agree agree agree xx

Lynnda said...

My husband has smoked since he was 12 yrs old has tried many, many times to give them up. I have known him 20 yrs and have passive smoked along side him as do my children. I totally agree with you & believe to ban cigarettes altogether is the only way.

Smudgerella said...

Get pregnant, worked for me ;-)

Joking aside, it is the most gripping addiction, along with caffeine. I am not sure what I found harder to quite - the cigs or the diet cokes.
Doesn't help at all that you can buy them so easily, I totally agree with you on this. It did help when they banned smoking in public places for me as my main trigger was drinking wine.
Smoking is a real bitch to quit but you will get there and I am sending you positive vibes as I type. P tried hypnotherapy, it really worked for him. I can set you up with his therapist next time you are in the UK. Good luck lovely xx

Sarah Derrig said...

Yep, pregnancy worked for me! But living in the Middle East is like living in the 80's you can smoke ANYWHERE and EVERYWHERE! Even inside shopping malls! I've fallen off the wagon many times - always when a drink is involved!

My Dad is of the same belief - he wishes cigarettes were illegal. He's had 2 minor strokes and a quadruple bypass all because of cigarettes and even though he's quit now...he will sometimes fall off the wagon and will have a drag every now and then because he has too - he's addicted.

I agree - if smoking was illegal it would help so many people.

I hope that Sadie doesn't ever have the urge to light up - I hope she's like her Dad whose never had a cigarette touch his lips! But unfortunately living in an area where pretty much EVERYONE smokes I have no doubt she'll at least try them.

Anonymous said...

Yep - same, same, same. Wish I could have it all wiped from memory. Buggah.

A Keeper said...

Spot on! Ban the bloody things and let's be done with them already. There is absolutely no good to be gained by having them.

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