A Lady-boy tried to sell me a fake iPad...

Happy Birthday to me.

Happy Birthday to me. 

Happy Birthday to Fat Old Bastard, 

Happy Birthday to me.

Oh dear. 39. But before we go down that celebratory path I first need to cover off yesterday. (I always write this blog the night before it goes up so it’s not yet my B’day as a type.) I went shopping yesterday. But not just any old sort of shopping. I went BANGKOK shopping!

The first thing I want to show you is this beautiful all in one denim jumpsuit.! And before I hear StylingYou scream out in pain, I also need to say I didn’t buy it. The only reason I didn’t was because they only had one left in stock. The only way I could’ve seen this little creature working in my wardrobe is if Mrs Woog also had one and they were for Sunday afternoons with a Belvedere in one hand and the Foxtel remote in the other. Also it was rather expensive, especially by Bangkok standards.

Mrs Woog????

I trolled for a while through MBK where the rip-offs outnumber the originals. Seriously, how do they get away with such blatant breach of trademark laws. It is good though for cheap shit that you know is gonna fall apart in 2 weeks – I bought 3 t’shirts for $16 AUD. But by the time I got to the technology section I was completely confused. I had a Lady-boy try to sell me an iPad but I couldn’t work out who was the bigger fake.

The next shopping centre was much better. Found my new favourite store in the world. It’s called Loft and it is just jam-packed for of quirky, cool, funky, kitsch shit. I could have spent $1000’s just in the stationary section. I found a stunning leopard print hardcase for my laptop – not appropriate at most meetings though. Also had fabulous homewares, but I had my 32kg bag limit to consider. Oh well, I love you none-the-less Loft.

Found all these kooky local designers all up on the top levels of the next centre who did some very nice stuff. But, alas, when Thai’s are designing for their fellow countrymen their idea of a Large does not fit a middle-aged ‘healthy’ Aussie guy. Literally nothing fit me, certainly not anything remotely tailored. I guess they think tourists would be to lazy to climb the stairs to Level 6.

Weird shit just happens in this city. Hard to explain but so much of it just doesn’t fit together. Like when I found at the top of a shopping centre a full ice rink! Tonya Harding could have trained here right in the heart of sweltering, balmy, humid Bangkok.

Or like one centre over, more even weirder shit. They still have a Sizzler. Well that’s lunch taken care of (jokes, I ate local).

Then the sky opens and rght there before your eyes is Siam Paragon, a shopping mecca. Now (I think) this is the high-end centre for all of Bangers. Its massive, and beautiful. Has all your usual designer elite as well as a massive department store. As much as I love and deserve to shop at Hermes, Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana and Burberry, my little wallet can’t take the heat.

But I did find some brilliant local stuff in the Thai Designers section of the department store. There was some amazingly cool stuff. And most of it was relatively loose fitting (and this is where I found the denim jumpsuit). Perfect. Snapped myself up two gorgeous loose, light, kinda weird knits… I adore them! And very cool pair of khaki shorts for upcoming summer cocktails.

Also throw in a shitload of underwear and all up a very productive day. Of course I was exhausted so booked in for another massage, after all, I am on holidays. You know how yesterday I was telling you I had a woman literally throw me around the room by the torso, well today I had a man. I actually lost track of where my head was at one point when he performed a similar move. Must be a Thai thing…


Tomorrow... What does one do when alone in Bangok for their birthday????