Saturday, June 4, 2011

For Rent:..

Aschapelle and I need your help. One of the first things we decided when we broke up up was that we both wanted to keep our house together and nothing has changed on our dream run. We are still top of the class as far as break-ups go. Normally I am the pettiest man in the world but this time I seem to be getting it right. Now we are taking the next step. The time has come the time to put renters in to our old home.

Aschapelle has just bought his own new bachelor pad – a very glamorous inner-city apartment with amazing views.  Very excited and happy for him as long as I can house-sit. This now means that we need to find renters for our (…slipping into full real estate agent mode now!) gorgeous, ideally located, newly renovated, spacious 2 bedroom terrace in East Redfern.

If anyone is ever looking to do any sort of real estate stuff in the inner city there is only one agent you should use. Bresic Whitney! They are truly brilliant whether buying, selling or renting – and we’ve tested them on all fronts over the past couple of years. And they are all HOT which I think is very important in a real estate agent. No joke, it must be a hiring policy there. All Bresic Whitney peeps are very smart and extremely hot! So the guys and gals at Bresic Whitney are now showing our little home to potential tenants. 12.15pm today in fact.

One thing Aschappele and I never, ever agreed on was artwork. As you can see from the pic above, since I’ve moved out a few months ago Asch has gone crazy with big, dramatic pieces. Also check out the beautiful floorboards, they were part of our 2010 make-over. We now know that the white lounge was a mistake when you have two dirty dogs but it looks gorgeous in the pic. A closer inspection of the book shelf will show Asch’s obsession with Schapelle Corby and all stories about drug traffickers in SE Asia. Never quite understood that.

Speaking of the 2010 make-over... we also did the kitchen and the bathroom.

Renovating sounds so easy when you start out. The reality is that it is a truly huge pain in the ass. Thank god the final result was worth it but we were without a kitchen for about 6 weeks. I need to write a whole post on that actually and name names. Don’t always trust a name you know people *cough* Freedom, will save the rest of that story for another time. We cooked in the lounge or garden for all of that time. After our experience last year I will never, ever buy a place that isn’t exactly how I want it at purchase, its’ just not worth the grief. Anyways, lets move on...
My pic, not BW's as you can probably tell...
Our bathroom, more through good luck than good management, is our proudest achievement! We’ve both loved it from the moment it was finished. A miracle when you remember that when we chose the tiles we were both so hung-over we weren’t sure what we ordered 5 mins after leaving the store. The guy who did our bathroom was a true professional! Would recommend him in a heartbeat. It’s also very butch don’t you think?

Here’s the outside of our little place. Sits right on the edge of one of the most friendly and vibrant parks I’ve ever known. This is the park where the whole neighbourhood leaves their toys and THEY NEVER GET STOLEN! It is literally the heart of the whole community. I’ve written about it before, it is amazing that such parks exist. I’ve even done a Uni assignment on it, a visual research project, for which I got a HD (yep, a big plug for myself!).

Aschapelle and I bought this place so our children, Jackson and Sam, had a backyard to play in. A week after we moved in we realised that Jackson and Sam never left the lounge while we were at work and only went out the back if they needed to piss or shit. That’s a lot of money to spend on a toilet. Having said that, Aschappelle and I weren’t much better. Why would you use the back garden when you have a whole park next door?

Upstairs are two decent sized bedrooms, or as we used them, a big master bedroom and a parlour/dressing room. Two gay boys can accumulate a lot of clothes so a whole room was required. The master bedroom has a balcony, but again, we never used it. Not sure why, but probably because I’m not a smoker when Aschapelle is around. Our neighbours are the most divine people you’ll ever meet, everyone in the street is just so lovely. There is even a smattering of A-List celebs but I won’t give out their names/addresses.

So in a nutshell… We’ve absolutely loved living here. LOVED IT!!! And that’s not just the real estate sell, we truly have. I’m ignoring the pang of sadness that it is no longer our home and focusing on Man Pit and Aschapelles fabulous new place. Only requirement of our new tenants is that they take good care of it. If you wanted to turn the second bedroom into a S&M dungeon that is absolutely fine as long as you don’t chip the paint or stain the floorboards. One day this place will allow me to buy a place of my own so pristine care needs to be taken. As much as I am loving Man Pit at the moment, one day I want to again live in a place I own.

Spread the word peeps, spread the word! Go along to the open house and marvel at what two inexperienced renovators can do while they are hung-over. Admire the giant artworks on the wall. Pose in the bathroom mirror that has on so many mornings produced my fabulous quiff. Feel the kitchen bench that has never felt my touch. Slide across the floorboards just as Jackson does. But always be sure to stay very balanced on the staircase so you don’t take a dramatic tumble like poor little Sammy did.

But most importantly… Make us an offer!


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Good Luck. Carmela

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