Friday, May 20, 2011

Brunette + Gun + TV = Fetish!

I’ve definitely got this thing for strong women on television. A fetish in fact!

All my favourite characters on TV are ballsy, strong, smart, hot women who not only take control but also shed a tear. I’ve come to think of them as sisters. Most of them know how to handle a gun. I particularly love a cop or a lawyer, but as most shows I watch are crime drama’s there’s nothing odd about that.

What is odd though is that they all have one thing in common - they are all brunette. It seems I have a fetish for tall, thin brunette women with immaculate eyebrows. Not sure what that means but lets explore it…

I’ll try not to scare you with descriptive details, but these manicured, striking women I have a fetish for are literally the opposite of what I’m attracted to when it comes to men. Show me a man who’s rough around the edges and washes infrequently and I bet you I take a second look. I’m not talking homeless here, but there’s certainly nothing wrong with ‘unkept’. Think Heath Ledger in Two Hands or a younger Johnny Depp.

I’m sure a psychotherapist could get all Fruedian about this – something about searching out men and women for different needs influencing attraction – but hey, I aint no psychotherapist. I just know I love hot, strong, manicured women on television who could boss me around and gun me down! Let me tell you who they are, see if you agree?

Det. Olivia Benson played by Mariska Hargitay: Law & Order SVU
SVU is possibly the all-time greatest crime drama and she is the heart of it. A product of rape, this has driven her to solve sex-crimes her entire career. In the interview room she can flirt, she can ball-break, she can out smart and play dumb. She is truly brilliant. And the way she wears those leather coats over her holster is heaven. Besides that shocker cut in series 2 and 3 her hair has been flawless for 11 series. And don’t even get me started on her eyebrows. SVU is nothing without her.
No better cop in the world than Det. Benson
Special Agent Kensi Blye played by Daniela Ruah; NCIS Los Angeles
A newcomer to my fetish list but WOW has she made an impact. Next to all those boys on NCIS she shines the brightest. Body of a supermodel, kick-boxing skills supreme, super-intelligent. And she’s so flirty with me through the screen. Best ensemble cast on TV at the moment and she is the break-out star. I just wanna be besties with her so we can hang-out on weekends and shoot terrorists.
Ballsiest bitch on the block
ADA Abbie Carmichael played by Angie Harmon; Law & Order
Now I have had a crush on Abbie since the 90’s. I adore her! Even when she’s wearing those truly awful drop-waisted jackets as she walks through the courthouse corridors she is stunning. That gravelly voice has every defence attorney questioning their case strategy. She’s not afraid to take it up to the big bosses but is also great friends with the police detectives. She is an absolute top chick but don’t let that Texan drawl fool you for one minute that she is anything but whippet smart.
Bad clothes do not disguise her beauty or brains
Alicia Florek played by Julianna Margulies; The Good Wife
Now this was not an instant attraction. Took me ages to fall under the spell of Alicia. That broken woman thing was boring at the start. But as she has gained power and control I am enthralled by her. The most subtle of gestures speaks volumes with this woman, you have to spend a lot of time with her to understand. She is fast climbing my Top Brunette’s Ladder. Now all she has to do is shag the guy from Don’t Tell Mom The Baby-Sitters Dead and I’ll be complete putty in her hands.
Phenomenal eyebrow work!
So they are my top 4 brunette fetishes! But I’ve saved my greatest television obsession till the end. She doesn’t fit my young, hot brunette list but I can’t talk about female characters on television without worshipping at the altar of S. Epatha Merkerson! My all-time favourite television character is Lt. Anita Van Buren. I record every ep of Law & Order, watch at least 2 a day and on a weekend can churn through up to 8. The greatest moments are when Lt Van Buren decides to step in and handle the ‘interview’ herself – spectacular intuition and street-smarts. When she discovered she had cancer my heart broke, I was completely empowered by how she dealt with it. Anita will be a friend for life.
Thank you for indulging me, cause this was a post of pure indulgence. 

I love you Olivia, Kinsey, Abbie, Alicia and Anita! And with IQ and box-sets I plan to enjoy you for many years to come.

But don't get me wrong, I love you in a purely non-sexual way. We may be friends but it is Heath and Johnny who will be in my dreams.


Ms Styling You said...

Phoning my hairdresser now to tell her I'm going brunette!

Mrs Woog said...

Apart from the thin part, and the smart part, you could be talking about me x

ST. MURPHY said...

StylingYou,... NOOOO you are my favourite blonde, my one and only fav blonde.

Mrs Woog, please promise me you will never, ever carry a gun! You'd turn into that woman from The Terminator.

I love you two, xoxoxo

Hamish von Trapp said...

When I first saw the headline I thought this was going to be about Sarah Palin, and I was really worried!
Thank god, I was wrong.

Pan said...

Where's Michelle Forbes....the ultimate tough brunette hottie!

Smudgerella said...

and don't forget your wife, Pan?!


Anonymous said...

I am completely in love with Mariska Hargitay. Besides all that you said, I ask: have you noticed the smile of Olivia Benson? And those big beautiful eyes hazel? Wow! Mariska is a very, very beautiful. And talented.

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