Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Are you a Grindr or a Blendr???

I often feel sorry for the straights. They miss out on all fun stuff. I’ve often thought this while I’ve been tapping away on Grindr looking for the next boy to flirt with. It’s such a gay-boy thing to have a GPS-based messaging system on your phone to meet new people. It’s possibly the laziest app in the world.

But I can feel sorry no more. The straights now have their own little hook-up app! Its called Blendr. And I’m sure it is going revolutionise straight-dating just like it has gay.

I’d heard Blendr whispered about but wasn’t really sure what it was. Then last week this whisper became loud talking. It seems all of a sudden it was catching on. Then I caught up with a dear girlfriend – a sexy, sassy, smart, independent woman – and she was all over it! The straights have gone Blendr crazy.

About time! The gays have been at this for years you know. But then again we are known as ‘early adopters’.

I am a busy single-guy-on-the-go. I work kinda hard and irregular hours. I socialise a lot. I’ve have spent a lot of time the last few months in various queer establishments catching up with friends. I lose hours just tapping away on this laptop or watching Law & Order. The brilliant thing about Grindr is that all this activity just continues on as normal, and because your flirting takes place on your phone you can do it anywhere, anytime as you go about your life! Driving to work, on the couch at night, while your walking your dog, wandering the aisles of Coles.

It literally means you can be socialising every minute of the day. Now that’s revolutionary!

And if you hook-up amongst all of this socialising than it’s a WIN-WIN. Everyone can take home a prize.

It was fascinating talking to my girlfriend about Blendr. It seems the mating rituals of the gays and the straights aren’t as different as we thought. There is no doubting that two men looking to date is a much more direct and open discussion than when it’s a man and a woman. Gays can be harsh, blunt and far too honest. On Grindr it can be brutal! It seems that on Blendr the straights take better care of each others feelings while still having the same goal in mind.

On both apps you can be very clear about what you are looking for – dates, relationships, hook-ups, friendship, or just a simple chat. You can chat until your gums bleed or get straight to the point and send a nudie pic. You bump into people you know, you make new friends and you open yourself up to a whole new world of meeting new and interesting people.

And you can get laid!

I think social networking apps like this are truly brilliant. Dare I say it, I’m a little obsessed.

But a few little pieces of advice for my straight brothers and sisters cause I’ve learnt a few things in my time on Grindr:

1. Don’t drink and Grind! Or in your case Blend. Just like in a bar, alcohol can impair your judgement. It seems beer goggles effect you online as well. Oh dear, the amount of times I’ve embarrassed myself on Grindr after too many vodka’s. Or woken up the next morning to look back at some chats and just cringed in shame.

2. Never be embarrassed that you are on there. It’s human nature to want to meet people, date, have relationships. There is nothing shameful in putting yourself out there. I’ve chatted to boys to then find out we know each other or even work together. Some get real embarrassed by this. Unless you’ve been a real dirty little tart then what’s to be embarrassed about? I wear my flirting like a badge of honour.

3. Get your friends to help chose your pics. Its amazing how different those who know you well see you. My girlfriend and I both had completely opposing views as to what our best photos were. And she was right about me, and I think I was right about her. We’re now hotter online.

4. It may be an app on your phone but you still need to use and trust your instincts. A creep is a creep is a creep whether they are online or at the pub. And if someone is wearing a leather harness…

5. Don’t be afraid to ask for more information, especially pics. I don’t care what anyone says, attraction has to be physical as well. If you need to see more to make a decision you need to see more. Just be warned that at some point you are likely to end up with a nudie pic coming your way. Or maybe that’s just the gayers.

Ahhhhhh…. Such good times! You’re gonna love it.

There is another whole other story on this which is about how these apps have changed the club and pub scene. I have this theory that Grindr has made Oxford St less sleazy. But that will be for another time.

Go forth and Blend you beautiful straight people and one day you too can hope to grind like the gayers. 

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