Happy Happy Joy Joy

Happy Happy Joy Joy! Sound of Music Happy!

Goddamn I’m in a good place at the moment and I feel like shouting it from the rooftops/laptop.

First of all, I love Man Pit. So happy here. Really used to living alone now. I have my Clinique bathroom, my Diet Coke fridge, my vodka freezer, my My Dog pantry and Foxtel. What more could you want in a bachelor pad? Yep, nothing. I do wish the rent wasn’t bankrupting me but it’s a small price to pay for Man Pit.

I’m loving work! Very exciting at the moment. Have been with the same employer for 7 years so of course there are ups and downs, but at the moment its just up, up and away. And please do not let them know, it will make my life unbearable, but I love the people I work with. Love! Never a dull moment and so much fun.

I’m dating for the first time in my adult life and I’m thinking its pretty cool. I'm very bad at it but that’s a whole other post.

Sammy. That is all. My bestfriend and most loyal companion. And I’ll come up with any excuse to post a photo of him…

Made some very funny friends lately and they constantly amuse me. Also have met the brains and brawn behind both Australian Marriage Equality and Community Action Against Homophobia, personal heroes of mine. They’ve got a huge job to do between now and Dec 3 and I’m gonna help wherever I can.

I’m not even stressed that my financial security hangs in the balance with the sale of my house. I know we’ve done all we can and now it’s out of our hands.

Just my little photo spread in SMH's Domain

Summer is just moments away. Just praying it gets here before I lose all of my hard-earned Koh Samui tan.

And so much to look forward to the next few months…

First up, have The Sculptor and 3GreggyD up from Melbourne this weekend for Big Gay Weekend. Going to my first dance party in four years. I’m nervous/excited. It’s being held during the day though which is great as in the last four years I’ve also become the biggest nanna ever.

I hope they all look like him...

In a few weeks I have a blogging conference in Melbourne, which is great in itself, but I’m also sharing an apartment with Woogsworld, Edenland, StylingYou and Sawhole. Can you imagine? No neither can we so we are webstreaming it. Its scares me that I’ll be with a group of friends where I am the quiet one.

After that I’m having a mini-University reunion with some friends who I shared a dorm with in ’95. I can’t even begin to fathom how much has changed for each of us in the last 16 years but we are going to find out with a weekend together in Orange. With lots of food!

Then the big one! My beautiful Cousin Rach just got engaged to a very fabulous man, Nick; a fine addition to the family and a very happy occasion. Now I am the oldest of our generation and Rachel is the youngest, but in terms of maturity we are the same age. Heading home to Griffith for the engagement party and to celebrate with all the fam. And you know I have a very special family.

Huge and sincere congratulations Nick and Rach

Then before you know it its Xmas Party Season – my favourite time of year! Then two weeks off for the festive season.

So you can see why that today, September 27, 2011, I am a very happy man. Its all seems to have come together quite brilliantly at just the right time. More through good luck than good management, but hey that’s the luck of the Irish (a very tenuous link to my Irish heritage).

So after all my whinging on this page the last 6 months, it feels good to spray happiness today.

Thank you for your patience.

xoxoxo

Buck$ Night Photo Album

Fucking brilliant night!!! And even better friends.


In fact, making the call early, most fun party of 2011!


Buck$ Night was an Australian Marriage Equality fundraiser so they can continue their amazing work fighting for gay marriage recognition. Congratulations and thank you to Alex Greenwich and AME, not only for a fabulous night but also for working so hard on behalf of the gay and lesbian community.


Now they say a picture says a 1000 words. I think you'll agree that these pictures show exactly how much fun Buck$ Night was. Enjoy!

My boys... Paulie, Shaun, EnGy, Dimples, TheFlack, Dazzle, Miles, Brad, Ross, Jonny, Adam, Rhys and our new favourites Alex and Victor - LOVE YOU GUYS! Thanks for a fantastic night for a brilliant and worthwhile cause. 


xoxoxo
St. Murphy


P.S and thanks so much EnGy for letting me use some of your photos. x

Not good with new people. But Grindr...???

As a general rule I like people. When I am around people I know I have a good time. I’m relaxed.

I’m not good with new people. New people scare me. The running joke at work is that it can be years before I remember your name. It’s the whole polite thing that makes me nervous. I’m not very good at being polite. In fact for a Communications Professional it is an outright miracle I’ve ever been able to hold on to a job at all. Let alone be any good at it.

Around my friends or in the office I am possibly the rudest, crudest man in the world. Familiarity for me breeds offensiveness. My ‘go-to-one-liner’ will always be crass. It’s how I role and 30+ years of conditioning.

But online, with the giant buffer of the computer screen, I am nowhere near as uncomfortable with new people as I am in person. Taking even the briefest moment to compose a (semi) polite response makes a huge difference for me. I’m even sure some people who don’t know me in person could actually think I am quite lovely from what they know of me online.

Which leads me to my problem.

I’m newly single as of earlier this year and slowly but surely I’m putting myself back out there again. I’m jumping on the dating Merry-Go-Round. And having been ‘coupled’ for such a long time it’s a whole new world compared to the last time I was single. Now, everything happens online. And I mean EVERYTHING! Especially for the gayers. Just Grindr alone has completely and dramatically changed dating in the gay community.

An example of a Grindr homepage

For those unaware of Grindr… It’s a GPS-based messaging system for the hummersexuals. It’s an iPhone app (the reason why all gayers have iPhones!) that when you turn it on it tells you how far away other gayers are – within metres. It is truly the greatest invention the world has ever seen. And as it is culturally acceptable within the gay community, everyone is incredibly direct about what they are looking for – chat, dates, relationship, a root, any and all of the above. It’s the envy of all straight men.

You check out their pics, you check out what they are looking for, you check out if you know anyone or have been there before. You then instant message with who ever and as many as you want while you find what you are looking for. Basically it means that you can pick up without leaving the comfort of your own lounge. My theory is that it has made gay men the laziest species in the world. It’s easier for the gayers to find ‘company’ than rabbits.

A Grindr profile

But back to my original story.

So I’m putting myself back out there. Chatting to boys all over the place. Online I am somewhat polite, semi-intelligent, mildly amusing. But as you know, in person I am bordering on being a complete asshole. So I’ve been chatting away for a while now but at some point you have to put your money where your mouth is (or where you want it to be) and actually meet the boys your chatting with.

A Grindr chat

Which, finally, leads me to my dilemma. Who I am in person can be very different to who I am online – especially when flirting with boys. When I actually go on these dates, and with the existing familiarity we’ve developed online, is my opening line going to be “What the fuck have you done with your hair?”. Or “Ohhhh, I see you’ve stacked on some weight!”  

I just don’t know if I can trust myself to be polite with new people. On a date. The thought of being polite throughout a whole meal sends shivers of fear up my spine.

This is all too much for a 39 year old to learn.

I am starting to think that my Grindr profile should come with a warning…

“May seem like someone you’d like to meet now but chances are he’ll be VILE by dessert.”

This ended up much longer than originally anticipated so ‘the actual dates’ will become Part 2 of this post at a later date.

Also, its really important to me that you know I have taken all these pics from the Grindr website and haven't breached the privacy of anyone on Grindr. 

Cause that would just be fucking rude!

Four days of Feral.

Lady M and I went feral in Kho Tao. Washing, brushing, hair product, deoderant all became optional extras. To show how feral, this was our conversation on our final night.

“Lets get all posh for our final night, get all dressed up and wear underwear and a t’shirt.”

“Yeh, lets get all dressed up. Why don’t we even wash our hair!”

See so things got a little feral in Kho Tao. But we were just going with the flow, it’s that sort of place.

Kho Tao is basically a fishing village in the middle of bum-fuck no-where that has a beautiful beach and even better weather. But it’s a flight and a 3 hour ferry ride to get to from any major city. So tourism is slow on the uptake here. It’s the place you go when you want to cut yourself off from the world, isolate yourself, and it is truly brilliant.

It’s full of gorgeous German and Scandinavian backpackers, wannabe divers and the rejects from The Only Way Is Essex. All young. And everyone is ridiculously tanned, and I mean EVERYONE.  I think once people get there they can’t be bothered leaving again. Or wearing clothes. Formal dressing for most means putting on a singlet. And of course there’s the incredibly friendly locals who’d do anything to keep you happy and spending your cash.

There are no resorts, none of the chain hotels. Lady M has been a few times before so she is practically an expert. She booked us into these huts where you had to specify that you wanted hot water, television and a toilet. We had the posh huts in the posh resort. We found a frog in our bathroom. The shower only had one tap. There was no roof above the shower. The television only intermittently worked. Wifi was slower than Cliff Young.

But you just give yourself over to this place. Embrace it. We spent our days just laying around in the sun, reading good books. We’d stroll along the beach the 400m into town to get lunch, stroll back for some more sun. Afternoon nap before heading back into town for cheap as shit massages, more food and cocktails.  Talk about recharging the batteries.

The food was unbelievable. Seriously unbelievable. Now I love a curry and these were the best I’d ever eaten. And just such simple food. If these restaurants were anywhere else in the world I would never step into them. But they were amazing. And so cheap. Each night the two of us would dine with cocktails and it would be less that $AUD10 - FOR THE TWO OF US!!! Unbelievable.

So I’ve had my head massaged, my feet (numerous times), a back/shoulder/head combo, full body oil and full body Thai. One place we went to literally left us bruised but you can’t really complain for $8. In fact I still have a sore neck from that woman, she was 4 foot 5 but with the strength of the Thai army. Lady M was shell-shocked after hers, she’s a delicate flower. She is from Melbourne.

If only they knew we probably hadn’t showered or brushed our teeth in days. Too unhygienic to be touched.

The absolute highlight was the final night. We’d been such nanna’s ‘recharging’ that we were in bed by 10pm most nights. We wanted to cut loose and stay out till midnight!  There’s all these beach bars set up with bean bags and cushions where they serve cocktails by the bucket – not even joking.  We got prime position cause us nanna’s got there so early so we were suitably drunk but the time the party kicked in. And the fire-twirlers.

So much fun pretending we were 24 again. I was completely overdressed wearing a t’shirt but still we made friends. Well, Lady M did. She made friends with a complete wanker English toff who it turns out was on Australian Princess. He said he couldn’t come to Australia cause he was so hated, he knows cause he Googles himself. Lady M goes “No, not at all. No one would know who your are.” SHUT HIM DOWN.

I was obsessed with the fire-twirlers. Especially when they took off their shirts. Sexually frustrated much? I took about 1000 photos. May have been because they were so damn cute or it could’ve been the 20 Sea Breeze’s. By the end of the night Lady M and I were so sure they could win Thailand’s Got Talent.

We stumbled back down the beach just after midnight – thank god we could find our hut, a small miracle considering they all look the same. We were very self-congratulatory about being so wild and crazy and staying out past 12. When Lady M I first met we’d go home after Day 2. We’re so mature now. We may not wear underwear but we no when to call it quits.

Poor Lady M though. She had the dreaded south-east Asian bad prawn and became more ridiculously ill than I’d ever seen anyone. Hit her like a ton of bricks. And the worst of it was that we had to get on a boat in crazy winds for the 3 hour trek back to Koh Samui. The good part was she was so exhausted she passed out. She slept through 40% of the boat vomiting! It was truly hideous. Everyone from the kids to the German lesbians were throwing up. I found solace on the top of the boat and it was a truly beautiful ride from there. This part of the world is STUNNING!!!!!

So now we are back in Koh Samui. Back in the lap of luxury in a 5 Star resort where I believe we rightfully belong. We’ve showered, cleansed, brushed, moisturised, plucked, flossed, deoderised and buffed ready for the mean competition of day bed position selection.

Yep, we’re having a real tough time this holiday.

P.S. Lady M bounced back in under 16 hours from her food poisoning! Nothing two swims, a club sandwich and a massage couldn't fix. She did avoid seafood on the menu tonight though.